Grief to Grace – a conversation

Boo! Grief……… Oh, it’s you again! Sneaking up and pouncing just like ”Tigger’ but with no fun!

I see you’re still available to visit me at any point in time. Just when I stopped feeling your chill or sensing your shadow stealing my sunshine on a blue sky day. Or hearing you in my sleepless nights at 3 am; you’re back. Your purpose is clear:  to remind me of a space that was once occupied by someone I loved and cherished. I feel your presence but when I reach out to really see you and take a real look at you, your shadow is, on days like this one, overwhelming. Five years on and nothing is like it was, I am on my knees, only memories are left for me to hold. I  don’t know how but i’ll get by, slowly pull myself together. I am together. I’ll get through this. I’m getting through this. There is no escape, so keep me safe. I am safe. This feels so unreal just as before ……..nothing comes easily. Please fill this empty space. Love holds my space now. Nothing is like it seems, please turn my grief to grace. I feel the cold loneliness unfold, like from another world. Come what may, I didn’t fade away but i know I have changed. Where do I begin? Can anything bring me peace when I feel I’ve lost everything now I no longer feel your embrace . My grief is now grace and I remember to feel that I am loved. I am back.

When the shadow falls beside you, find your grace inside your grief and remember loves leaves a memory no one can steal

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